I suppose it had to come to this.

Not that I care if anyone reads this, but if I don't get my thoughts down somewhere I am sure my head will explode.

I finally decided that I want something in my life that is always going to be there, is going to be there at 2am when I have yet again let my mind race and caused a slight case of insomnia. So here I am. I have decided that writing would be the best bet for me. I no longer have to answer 20 questions that all have the same answer. I no longer need to explain myself in great detail because the people who are suppose to get me the most do not even have a clue.

I am going to write this like someone is going to read it cause lets face it, someone somewhere might actually get bored enough to go searching through blogs.

Lets get started just a little bit of a backround it will be easier for people to get me... kind of.
I am 23,  I turn 24 this month and every time I think about it I want to vomit. I am married with three wonderful puppies. Thought I was going to say children, huh? The whole child thing is going to be saved for a new post dedicated all to itself. I have only been married since July and things have not exactly been honeymoon central. We have met some challenges that are taking a harder toll on me then expected. I don't really know how my husband is dealing, because he doesn't want to tell me, he fears that if I have to worry about him too that it will cause too much stress. There is one thing you should know about me, I love to help people I have always been a nurturing soul. If I have no one to help I feel so very un-needed.

I have two jobs, niether of which I love, but that I have to have. Everyone has debt and I just want it paid off even faster. I am currently looking into a third job. I have just recently convinced myself if I kept myself so busy that I didnt have time to think then I would be a happier person. Again something you should know, I HAVE to think and I love "what ifs". I will what if a situation till the sun comes up, until I have looked at every angle possible. So to keep myself busy this is what I am going to try to do. Three jobs, college, blogging and joining a Habitat for Humanity Committee. Sounds crazy right? Here is the best part, I know that if I do this I am going to drive myself crazy, I am going to be cranky, tired and just flat out mean. I can probably only handle it about a month before I am sure I will hate myself even more.

This whole being honest with yourself thing pretty much rocks!

Well I am going to end this, it is way past my bedtime.
The next blog will go into my husband and I, hey who knows maybe on paper I will be able to better understand what is going on.